“I love sarcasm.

“If you find me offensive. “Don’t worry about what people think. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass.170. Have you ever listened to someone for a while and wondered, “Who ties your shoelaces for you?”226. I have “Oh for f..ck’s sake, f..ck this shit” moments.110. Just don’t push the b..ch button.173. And I’m way better at being an a..hole than you are.184. “Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.”67. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! If someone points at your black clothes and asks, whose funeral it is, you just look around the room, and answer, “haven’t decided yet.”115. I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.49. I’m neither Jesus nor do I have Alzheimer’s.Haha. “I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.”42. I’m definitely a morning person but often choose to sleep straight through it.200. I’m not crazy! You can smooth it over but it’s never going to be the same again.190. Keep rolling your eyes. Our popular articles include:

Just warning you.61. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. Be the reason someone smiles today. Things could get dangerous.175. Although some people find it difficult to understand the hidden meaning of our sarcastic messages, others have no problem in finding the sense of it at all.In every sarcastic remark we hear, there is always some truth behind it. I don’t hate you. I’m sorry. The same way you came in.35. I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.28. My mother didn’t raise a fool. If the teacher tells you to get out, it means you have won the argument.42. I just have a quick reaction to bullshit.158. I’m sorry for bothering you. Sarcastic Quotes. I may look calm, but inside my mind, I’ve killed you 20 times, in 5 minutes, in 20 different ways.21. – Steven Wright13. If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. That didn’t need to be included.

If you don’t like and still watch everything I do, b..tch you are a fan.147. “Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”18. Keeping a..holes in line since 1836.174. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant23. Nothing brings a group of a…holes together faster than something that’s none of their business.183. My girlfriend is so good at playing hide and seek.

“Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”19. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”14. “No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. For a circle.51. We hope you have fun reading them!

Watch me pretend to care!36.

“I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?47.

Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.14. “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.”28. But in your case, go ahead.”8. It’s like punching people in the face with words.228. Don’t judge a student by his percentage.41. Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.60. Whatever works.191.

I didn’t tell you. Good morning world! To help you out, we listed some of the best sarcastic quotes here. The B..ch Slap. Need college for a job. I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.216. I was ignoring you the first time.”50. I take super-hot showers to practice burning in hell.93. I’m a lady, but when I’m mad, I am an evil sadistic demon spawned b..ch from hell that will make you regret the day you were born.

Watch me pretend to care!”72. A psychotic cold-hearted b..ch. The voices tell me I am entirely sane.31.

You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.211. Some people will only like you if you fit inside their box. Then I met you.68. Just like everyone else.”27.

Yet it remains the funniest!”51. The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.136.

You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.”39. The whole purpose of sending a text is to get a reply within seconds or minutes, otherwise, I would have sent a letter by fucking mail.15.

And experience? “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”10.

Hmmm, I’m going to file your opinions right here between “f..ck this” and “f..ck that”.131.

I have to stop saying how stupid you can be. I forgot I only exist when you need me for something.152. Their dogs.106. I am a nice person.

People think I’m shy because I don’t get involved in their conversations. You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.94. Yeah, I don’t have that.105. You must be the happiest person on this planet.”77. So act like it.163. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”44. I’m not petty, I’m dead ass disrespectful and I will straight up disrespect you if you want to play that petty game. You’d be in good shape, if you ran as much as your mouth.30. “Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone.

Your feelings will be hurt.132. Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper. At least mosquitoes find me attractive.37. “You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.”63. It must be hard putting makeup on your two faces every day.182. We hope you have fun reading them!1. “Light travels faster than sound. Oh, my bad. Sometimes I wish I could get a refund on the time I have invested on people that weren’t worth it.124. “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say.

“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid.

My soulmate is out there somewhere, pushing a pull door.

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